Another TV Rant...

One Tree Hill... Brooke... pregnant... after pursuing adoption.

That is all.

(Short rant.)

I Miss My Puppies!

I totally posted this yesterday, but somehow it got deleted, so here we go again...

Aren't they adorable?  They're so sweet and loving, and I miss them terribly!  I can't believe it's going to be a few months before I get to see them again.  Well, actually only the one on the left... he'll be mine.  He's always been a mama's boy, and the older one is daddy's girl, so she'll stay with the husband.  I think they'll be good for each other.

I love my cat and am very glad he's here with me, but he doesn't like to cuddle.  I miss my cuddle puppy.

Making Progress

I feel really good!  I had my second therapy session yesterday, and my lovely therapist lady felt I came a long way in a short time.  My first appointment was two weeks ago, and I was in tears pretty much the whole time.  Yesterday I only teared up once or twice, and they didn't stick around for very long.  Last time we set some goals for me to work towards, and she was kind of shocked that I had accomplished almost all of them already.  I was too actually.  She said I looked better, like I was happier... she even said I was glowing!

I've found some much needed confidence in myself the past couple of weeks.  I've realized how strong I can be when it's needed, and how turning to others when I can't be is okay.  It's not a sign of weakness... it's wanting what everyone wants, what people are meant to do... to reach out and make connections with other people.  I'm surrounding myself with positive people who help to build me up.  I feel very lucky to have so many friends that are so supportive.  They're helping me find and hold onto that confidence.

I feel better about myself.  I feel better about my capabilities and how I'll utilize them in the future.  I feel that as much as the situation hurts, I've learned a lot from it and will be able to use that in the next relationship and life in general.

Road Trip!

What a fantastic past few days I've had!  Got a call out of the blue Tuesday afternoon from one of my best friends asking me to go away with her for a little road trip.  Having nothing else going on, of course I said yes!  We drove up to Raleigh that evening with the plan of sleeping on couches at her two sisters' and one of their husband's house.  Turns out the married couple had left for Florida that very morning, so we offered to keep their very large and comfy king-sized bed company while we were there.

We ended up doing a whole lot of nothing important, and it was absolutely splendid.  Watched a ton of movies in bed and saw Red Riding Hood in the $1.50 theater.  Went shopping and FINALLY found a pair of jeans that fit, but they were just about the ugliest things I'd ever seen, so I ended up leaving without them.  Huge bummer.

The only other bad thing during the trip was that I almost lost it in a maternity clothes store.  My road-tripping friend is about five months pregnant now and desperately in need of some larger clothes.  I did okay for all of a whole minute then had to excuse myself from the store.  Just couldn't do it yet.

Had deliciously bad for me eggs benedict for breakfast this morning, and that pretty much made up for it.  It probably contained my cholesterol intake for the whole week, but it was totally worth it.  That and getting two bottles of Two-Buck Chuck at Trader Joe's before we headed back home, one of which I am enjoying an inaugural glass of right now.

More than anything though I enjoyed spending time with my "sisters".  I grew up with them and have missed them dearly since I moved away.  Being back now though, we've picked up right where we left off and it's like I was never gone.  We're actually even closer now, I think.  I love that.

Today marks three years...

Happy anniversary, husband.

About a week and a half ago I took my ring off before getting in the shower and decided not to put it back on afterwards.  My finger still feels naked.  I'm so used to readjusting the ring throughout the day and find myself still making the motions to sometimes.  There's still a little indent on my finger where the ring used to sit.  I wonder how long before that goes away.

I wonder how long before this pain goes away.

I feel like a kid...

My parents went out shopping this morning, and I have the house all to myself.  My stepdad has been sick for a long time and very rarely goes out anyplace.  It was like that when I was younger (well, a teenager) too and I always felt so independent when they would go somewhere and leave me home.  It wasn't very often, so I always took advantage of it.  They were never gone more than an hour or two, so it's not like I could throw a party or anything.  I honestly don't remember what I would do, but I got that same little rush when they left today.

How old am I?  And I'm excited to be left home alone?  I was alone a lot in Mississippi and couldn't wait until the husband or roommate would get off of work.  It's funny how things change.

My mom said that my stepdad is very happy that I'm staying with them.  Mom said she is too and is thankful that I'll be living here throughout the summer to help keep an eye on him.  She worries about him a lot, and so do I.  He's got heart trouble, lung trouble and an inoperable hernia in his chest.  He seems depressed a lot and I'm trying my damnedest to help keep him cheery throughout the day.   I guess things really do happen for a reason.  I'm starting to see that in this situation more and more every day.

Will's 28, I'm 28... I coulda been a Princess! Duchess?

I went to the post office and mailed off all the divorce paperwork today.  Then I went home and watched the royal wedding.  Not the smartest decision.

I won't lie... I cried.  And not just because it was beautiful.  I kept thinking back to my wedding and how the sentiment behind the words we spoke to each other almost three years ago to the day mirrored how the royal couple looked this morning.  Did that make sense?  How much wine have I had?  Anyways... I miss being looked at like Will was looking at Kate.  And OMG (wow,  I've never typed that), how absolutely drop dead gorgeous is she?  Right?

Anyways again... I had a girly date planned for the evening that was supposed to take my mind off the fact that I just notarized my marriage away.  I haven't seen her for almost a year and a half and was soooo excited!  Then her little girl got a 103-degree fever and the date got cancelled.  I had a girly date with a different friend last night, and it was fun.  I have another girly date with two other friends tomorrow night, which should be fun also.

Ten years after high school and I'm finally popular.

I was really looking forward to the girly date tonight the most though.  I made brownies and everything.  We were going to have dinner and wine (well, I did that anyway) and watch movies and talk.  It was going to be a much needed evening out, but in at her house.  Oh well.  Her little girl needed her more tonight, which I totally can't be mad about.  Hopefully we'll get to reschedule soon.

At least the wine didn't go to waste.

A Friendly Stranger

I used to live in a little duplex here a few years ago.  Down the street from that duplex lives an older gentleman who's out in his yard a lot and likes to wave as people drive by.  I used to wave back every time I drove down the road and would always get a smile from him.  I saw him once at a grocery store and almost said hello, but I thought that might be weird.

My parents live a few blocks away from where I used to, and that gentleman's house is along the route to their place too.  It's been a reflex to glance at his yard each time I approach it, and for the first time since I've been back I saw him out there today.  I was very happy to get to smile and wave to him again.  It's been a couple of years, but I think he remembered me.  He pointed at me and had a look of "Hey!  I recognize you and your car!"  Then he smiled and waved back.

I don't know why, but that really made my day.  :)

I had a happy day!

About damn time!

Saw a bunch of friends today and spent time with the newest baby of the bunch!  She actually liked me, I couldn't believe it.  I don't have a lot of experience with kids so I'm always a little awkward around them.  But we sat and played with legos for like an hour!  She sat in my lap, smiled at me like she knew me and gave lots of hugs.  Absolutely melted and broke my heart at the same time!  She was so adorable.  I want one!

And like so many, many times in the past when I've been with this group, I was once again the only single one in the whole bunch.  I swear, everyone else was all coupled up, even the kids.  It actually felt okay though.  It was kind of weird... I felt more comfortable around all these people than I think I ever have.  I felt like I belonged a little more.  It was a nice feeling.

:)