Working Girl

I finally get to rejoin the workforce this coming week.  Bright and early Monday morning I will be getting back into the pet industry at my old job where I previously worked for seven years.  I didn't really want to go back, but no one else in town wanted me.  There's mostly new people working there and I know a good deal of the business, so I think it'll be a good thing for now.

I went in and talked to the new manager lady a week ago, and she was excited to have me but had to talk to the big boss man first just to make sure and talk about wages.  I stopped in to see him and some other people next door on the veterinary side, and he said not to worry.  I got the official word yesterday that I start Monday and will be getting paid at the same rate I was when I left almost two years ago!  I thought for sure I'd have to start out lower and work up the pay scale again, so yay!!

The best part about it?  New wardrobe!!  I gave all my old scrubs to Goodwill when I left (not that they'd even fit now anyway) so I get to get brand new ones!  They're so comfy and I look damn good in them.  Here's what's on order right now...

And tops with these prints will be after the first paycheck...

 

Adorable, right?  I know I am... haha.  :)

"They" say...

One of those many pieces of advice you hear after a break up is that the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.  Well, I haven't been taking that literally, but I have been attempting to speed up the process of getting over the husband by going out with someone new.

I went on a date last week.  With a doctor.  He's tall and cute, teaches and does research at a local university.  We went to one of my favorite restaurants and walked and talked for awhile after dinner.  Nervous as I was, the conversation actually flowed naturally and we got along pretty well.  I really liked him.  He hugged me goodbye and asked for my number.  He lives about an hour away and asked if I'd like to do something in his town next time.  Oooh... "next time"... that's promising, right?

A week passed and no call from my own Dr. McDreamy.  So today I sent him a text asking if he wanted to do something this weekend.  Hours passed before I got a reply.  He said he really enjoyed meeting me and had fun on our date, but the distance was just too far for him.  What the hell??  Last week he said he wanted to date someone from another town so that he didn't end up going on a blind date with a student or someone from the college.

Soooo.... either he realized that he really doesn't want a semi-long distance (but not really) relationship, or he really just wasn't that into me and wanted to spare my feelings.

Oh my god, am I really going through all this dating bullshit again?

The Last Kiss

Since I've been here, my step-dad has gotten me into Grey's Anatomy, and we usually watch a few episodes each night after my mother goes to sleep.  On one of the season two episodes we watched tonight, Meredith kept trying to remember her last kiss with McDreamy.  At the end, he described to her with a very good amount of detail how it went down... what the circumstances were, what she was wearing, how her hair smelled that morning.

I broke down.

I very much remember my last kiss with the husband.  I even remember wondering while it was happening if it would indeed be our last.  I drew it out, not wanting to let him go, just in case it was.  I also remember it seemed like he wasn't quite as into it as I was.

Then, seeing him again for the first time after he broke things off over the phone, still in shock and denial I told him how badly I wanted to kiss him.  He said he didn't think it would help matters at all.

I guess it's good we didn't.

Rant Continued...

...but on a different note.

I went shopping with my mom today.  We weren't really looking for anything in particular, just looking to see what there was.  We found the cutest things in the baby section.  I absolutely fell in love with a tiny little pink blanket with a brown and pink bunny on it.  I really wanted to get it, but then I thought "What the hell would I do with it?"  Really, what would I do with it?  Keep it for a baby that won't be happening anytime in the foreseeable future?  Store it all hidden away at the bottom of a box in the back of a closet where I'd "forget" about it?

My mom ended up buying a different blanket for my road-tripping preggo friend today and asked me to give it to her the next time I see her.  So there's this soft and fuzzy gender-neutral blanket sitting on my dresser waiting for me to take it to a very close friend who's having an oops baby.  Awesome.

I'm around babies and pregnant ladies all the freakin time now!  All my friends either have kids or will soon.  My stroller-toting walking buddy just told me that they're trying for a second now.  It took them three whole months the first time around and they thought that was a long time.  Now every time we walk I'll be anticipating the good news.  Fantastic.

Another TV Rant...

One Tree Hill... Brooke... pregnant... after pursuing adoption.

That is all.

(Short rant.)

I Miss My Puppies!

I totally posted this yesterday, but somehow it got deleted, so here we go again...

Aren't they adorable?  They're so sweet and loving, and I miss them terribly!  I can't believe it's going to be a few months before I get to see them again.  Well, actually only the one on the left... he'll be mine.  He's always been a mama's boy, and the older one is daddy's girl, so she'll stay with the husband.  I think they'll be good for each other.

I love my cat and am very glad he's here with me, but he doesn't like to cuddle.  I miss my cuddle puppy.

Making Progress

I feel really good!  I had my second therapy session yesterday, and my lovely therapist lady felt I came a long way in a short time.  My first appointment was two weeks ago, and I was in tears pretty much the whole time.  Yesterday I only teared up once or twice, and they didn't stick around for very long.  Last time we set some goals for me to work towards, and she was kind of shocked that I had accomplished almost all of them already.  I was too actually.  She said I looked better, like I was happier... she even said I was glowing!

I've found some much needed confidence in myself the past couple of weeks.  I've realized how strong I can be when it's needed, and how turning to others when I can't be is okay.  It's not a sign of weakness... it's wanting what everyone wants, what people are meant to do... to reach out and make connections with other people.  I'm surrounding myself with positive people who help to build me up.  I feel very lucky to have so many friends that are so supportive.  They're helping me find and hold onto that confidence.

I feel better about myself.  I feel better about my capabilities and how I'll utilize them in the future.  I feel that as much as the situation hurts, I've learned a lot from it and will be able to use that in the next relationship and life in general.

Road Trip!

What a fantastic past few days I've had!  Got a call out of the blue Tuesday afternoon from one of my best friends asking me to go away with her for a little road trip.  Having nothing else going on, of course I said yes!  We drove up to Raleigh that evening with the plan of sleeping on couches at her two sisters' and one of their husband's house.  Turns out the married couple had left for Florida that very morning, so we offered to keep their very large and comfy king-sized bed company while we were there.

We ended up doing a whole lot of nothing important, and it was absolutely splendid.  Watched a ton of movies in bed and saw Red Riding Hood in the $1.50 theater.  Went shopping and FINALLY found a pair of jeans that fit, but they were just about the ugliest things I'd ever seen, so I ended up leaving without them.  Huge bummer.

The only other bad thing during the trip was that I almost lost it in a maternity clothes store.  My road-tripping friend is about five months pregnant now and desperately in need of some larger clothes.  I did okay for all of a whole minute then had to excuse myself from the store.  Just couldn't do it yet.

Had deliciously bad for me eggs benedict for breakfast this morning, and that pretty much made up for it.  It probably contained my cholesterol intake for the whole week, but it was totally worth it.  That and getting two bottles of Two-Buck Chuck at Trader Joe's before we headed back home, one of which I am enjoying an inaugural glass of right now.

More than anything though I enjoyed spending time with my "sisters".  I grew up with them and have missed them dearly since I moved away.  Being back now though, we've picked up right where we left off and it's like I was never gone.  We're actually even closer now, I think.  I love that.

Today marks three years...

Happy anniversary, husband.

About a week and a half ago I took my ring off before getting in the shower and decided not to put it back on afterwards.  My finger still feels naked.  I'm so used to readjusting the ring throughout the day and find myself still making the motions to sometimes.  There's still a little indent on my finger where the ring used to sit.  I wonder how long before that goes away.

I wonder how long before this pain goes away.