(That's what she said... maybe?)
So many things are going on and running through my mind right now! All good things!
Health-wise, I'm doing pretty great! My sciatic pain comes once every so often, but it's very minimal and doesn't last long. The doctor said that's normal and will get better with time. The incision still gets a little sore but that's getting better too. The middle part of my back is causing a little trouble now, but I guess it's having to work a little harder since I'm trying my best not to use the lower part much.
I'm scheduled to go back to work this coming Wednesday and I'm really nervous. I've been relatively inactive during my recovery and get worn out pretty easily. I'm not supposed to bend or twist or pick up anything heavier than a chunky chihuahua. All of those are kinda part of the job, but I'm going to be pretty adamant that I'll be staying at the desk for a while. At work I've always done what's needed and disregarded the pain. Not anymore. I've finally learned that my physical well being is more important than the job. On a side note, I just realized that today marks three years since I've been back there. Wow.
These past couple of weeks I've mainly been a housewife, and I've actually really loved it. If I could make the little online job I've been doing since out of work pay the bills I totally would. This whole time I've only made about a hundred bucks at it. Oh well, every little bit helps.
I received the scariest doctor bill I've ever gotten in my life yesterday. Over $19,000. Luckily insurance is paying for that. I can't even imagine the amount of freaking out I'd be doing right now if not for the insurance I got just two months ago. In total, I think all of this would have ended up around $27,000 when all said and done. Geez.
Other news on the home front. Huge freakin fantastic news! The boyfriend and I are now on the fast track! He's ready to get married and start a family!! I told him I'm due to get a refill on my birth control next week, and he said he thought I should stop taking it. I told him my back needs to get better before we get pregnant, and these next few months will be for my body to get back to ovulating. We even started discussing baby names, which blew me away! Eeeek!
I then asked his opinion on getting engaged in the next couple of months, and he was cool with it! He still can't afford a ring yet, and lately we've been pondering putting the diamond from my old engagement ring in a new setting. It was actually my grandmother's, and she left it to me when she passed away. I've been trying to sell it since the divorce because I didn't think I'd want to wear it again, but had no buyers. I've come to realize that I don't associate it with my ex anymore. I look at it and think of my grandmother and realize that I truly don't want to part with it, no matter how much the money from it could help.
So, in true girl fashion, here are some of the settings I've been looking at... Picture a beautiful round champagne colored diamond in them.
Gorgeous! All of them! And actually in our price range. :)
And last, but definitely not least, we've started pre-gaming for house hunting! The bf has been spending a lot of time online looking at houses. We contacted a realtor who will be on the lookout for us. We've started talking about the minor renovations we need to do to the house before we put it on the market. We're also paying close attention to a house in our little nook that went up for sale about a month ago. It's the exact same floor plan and square footage as ours, but they're asking $20,000 more than what I bought this one for! We're very interested to see how long it'll be on the market and what it will actually sell for.
So that's the update on all that. I'm pretty excited about everything right now. Except work... really don't wanna go back, haha!
I am currently two days post-op and very sore. "Laminectomy Lumbar Disk Foramen Facet" is what was on the paper taped to my hospital bed, so I guess that's what I had done. I was kinda out of it when the doctor talked to me, but we'll go over specifics when I see him again next week.
I had to be at the hospital at 5:45am on Thursday. Upon arrival I only sat in the waiting room a few minutes before I had to say my goodbyes and let my nurse get started. I got nekked and changed into a very unflattering gown. I got hooked up to an IV and pulse-ox monitor thing. And they put on the tightest blood pressure cuff I've ever felt... I thought my arm might pop right off. I got some sexy compression stockings, which they told me I have to wear all week.
The anesthesiologist came by to talk to me and decided I needed to take a pregnancy test just to be sure. So the nurse unhooked me from some things but left me attached to some others, wrapped a blanket around my backside, held the IV bag up and paraded me in front of everyone in that room over to the bathroom. For someone with social anxiety, it was just fantastic.
Later I was back in bed, and a slight sedative was administered. She said I would feel tipsy as I was wheeled into the operating room, and I did. I remember them putting a mask on me, and then I was out. I woke up maybe an hour and a half to two hours later in a recovery room totally out of it. I heard someone talking on the phone about what I had had done and that I came out of sedation agitated. Oops. I drifted in and out there, then was taken to my room when I was more alert.
They had me up and walking just a few hours after surgery, and I found that my sharp, shooting sciatic pain was gone! I'm still having some numbness in my foot, but they say that's normal and will go away. I was very tired and napped throughout that afternoon. I had some visitors and got some beautiful flowers...
And someone brought me this thing to use so I didn't get pneumonia...
I slept on and off throughout the night but was woken every so often by a nurse taking vitals or making me go for another walk... or by the lady down the hall who was screaming all night. My mother came to see me around 10:00 the next morning. I was discharged around 11:30, and she took me home. The boyfriend was at work, but I was getting around okay and told her I would be fine by myself. I slept most of the afternoon, still very groggy from all the meds. I was up and about a few times and even walked way out to the mailbox for the first time in weeks.
I woke up this morning very dizzy and was a little worried, but it slowly went away after some breakfast. I've still been taking it very easy, but made my second trip out to the mailbox a bit ago. I'm supposed to be up "putzing around" throughout the day with frequent resting periods. Can't drive or pick up anything more than five pounds for at least a week.
When I nap, I've got the whole gang to keep me company...
Hopefully the recovery will be very quick and easy, and I'll be back to my life in no time!
I've been having a ton of very vivid dreams lately and I think it's because of the pain meds. Last night I woke myself up apparently acting out part of my dream. In this one I was at a park and had a bag of clothes sitting on a picnic table. I guess I was going somewhere that night? Anyways, I had walked away for a few minutes and when I returned there was a little girl with pigtails going through my bag and tossing my clothes everywhere. I remember my pretty pair of red undies getting thrown into the dirt.
The mother of the child was about thirty feet away, and I was trying to get her attention to no avail. So I did the next logical thing... I reached out to grab the girl by one of her pigtails to get her to stop.
And that's when I woke up knocking over the glass of water on my nightstand. Somehow I managed to catch the glass, but not before about half of the water went all over my phone. I have no idea how that happened, but luckily my phone was unfazed.
I woke myself up talking out a dream the other night. I dream about work a lot. They're usually about me going back after all this, and everything's different or it's crazy busy.
Very strange.
The neurosurgeon told me that the disc between my L5 and S1 is herniated, and that's what pinching the nerve. So I guess they make a small incision and go in with a camera and cut out the part of the disc that's causing the trouble. Or something like that.
I went to my pre-op appointment Friday and got this beautiful thing to wear until surgery...
And they told me I had to stop taking the one medication that actually helped with the pain. I stopped taking my wonderful ibuprofen yesterday, and the past day and a half has been full of non-stop ridiculous pain. This is going to be a long week. I've got some straight oxy, but it barely does anything. Grr...
Anyways, I go back to the doctor Wednesday to get "marked". I guess they make a little mark with a permanent marker for where to cut the next day. And if for some reason that mark isn't there on the grand day, surgery is totally cancelled. Oh my. So, yeah... I'll get a call that Wednesday afternoon to tell me when to show up at the hospital the following day.
Apparently, barring any complications, I'll be up and walking around the same afternoon, but I'll be staying there over night and get to go home the next morning. From there I'll be back to work in a couple of weeks with a weight restriction of what I can pick up for three months. Fun.
I'm not at all looking forward to it, but weirdly enough I am so excited for it. I just want to feel better. This pain which hasn't allowed me to do much of anything for the past few weeks has just gotta get gone. It's really been wearing me down.
Next Thursday. Awesome. It sucks, but I hope it'll fix my back, and hopefully I'll be able to get on with my life afterward.
I'm really nervous.
The boyfriend said many sweet things yesterday that made me fall in love with him all over again.
I know he can't afford an engagement ring yet and I've been suggesting a very real looking fake ring for the past couple of months. He hates the idea and has not entertained the thought one bit. We were talking about all sorts of things yesterday and we got to joking about that. I said, "Forty bucks and you're done! What's the problem??" And he immediately said back, "BECAUSE YOU MEAN MORE TO ME THAN THAT!" Aaah! I melted. It was so sweet.
Later we were talking about my birth control, and he said, "Why don't you just stop taking it? I'll put a little one in there for ya," as he rubbed my stomach! Aaah!! Killed me! In all seriousness though, he did say he'd be fine with us starting to TTC now in case we have trouble with it. I said I wanted to get through this possible back surgery fiasco and then go from there.
Then he totally surprised me with this next one. When we got back together we compromised and decided that we would stay here for us to have a child, then move out towards Western NC when it was a few years old. He hates this area, but my family and support system are here, so we agreed that plan worked for us both. Well... yesterday he said absolutely out of no where that he'd be fine staying here if we could find another house that he'd be more comfortable in. One with neighbors that aren't as close to us, one with a garage and a huge back yard for the dogs. One possibly on the water. Something we could really settle down and grow old in. AAAH! Craziness!! Never ever ever did I think he'd want that. He said he's really been thinking about it though, and it would just be such a hassle to pack up everything, move across the state, find a new place and new jobs.
I just don't know what to think about all this wonderfulness!
Today is the bf's and my second anniversary! We've been on and off through them, but today marks two years since we first met and is when we've chosen to celebrate. We were going to have dinner at the restaurant where we first met, but unfortunately that's not gonna happen... I'm still having a lot of trouble just walking around the house.
I did manage to shave my legs (among other areas) for the first time in awhile! This was huge for me, haha. Showers are tough when you can't stand up for long.
So, those are my and our accomplishments for the day! It's the little things. :)
The Vicodin didn't work. Like, at all. So Wednesday morning I called the doctors office and requested something else. That night right before they closed they called to say they could offer me a prescription for Percocet if I wanted it. Yes, I'll try anything! So the boyfriend raced me over to the office before it closed, and never have I had so much trouble walking. A turtle probably could have passed me. Anyways, I've been on it for two days now, and it does help a little more. I'm still supplementing with ibuprofen, and together they take most of the edge off. It still hurts to walk, especially if I'm a little late taking the meds, but for the most part it's a lot better.
One of my very best friends was in town yesterday with her son and stopped by for lunch and a nice visit. We hung out for a few hours before they headed out. It was so nice to see her.
I've been attempting a few work at home online jobs, and so far I've made a whopping three dollars... wooo! Maybe once I get qualified for a bit more I'll have some better paying days. My manager at my actual workplace talked to the big boss about me getting temporary disability, but he didn't say anything. I was researching that all morning and didn't find much. I'm thinking it's probably not gonna happen.
That's about all my excitement. It's been nice to have the opportunity to stay home and rest, but I'm getting a little cabin fever now. When the meds are doing their job, I could potentially attempt to drive somewhere, but it's really not worth it. I can't do much walking wherever I'd decide to go.
I feel pretty worthless.
So much has happened in the past 24 hours that my mind is spinning. It was really only one doctor appointment, but so much went down. I couldn't take the pain anymore and went into the local urgent care place when they opened at 8am yesterday. I got the nicest doctor who just happened to be returning to work after three weeks off to recover from the exact same thing I have. He was so sympathetic and made me feel like a priority.
I was in tears as he examined me, testing each leg. I ended up getting X-rays and an MRI which told him that I have a protruding disc that is pinching the sciatic nerve. And that it's pretty bad. He said it's past the point where a chiropractor can help and gave me a referral to a local neurosurgeon, and that appointment isn't until next Thursday. He said no work until I'm all better and he releases me. He said the surgeon will probably suggest one of two things... epidural steroid injections or surgery. Both sound just lovely.
He prescribed me Vicodin, which I've never taken before and does not seem to be helping one bit. I actually feel worse now, and it makes me sleepy all the time. To be fair though, there was a lot going on yesterday to aggravate the pain, so I'll give it a couple of days before requesting something else, if that's even possible. I literally could not stand or walk this morning. I got out of bed and thought I was going to pass out from the pain.
I'm freaking out. I may have to have back surgery, which I was never expecting to have, especially at 31! The pain medication is not working and I can barely get out of bed. I'm out of work for who knows how long. It's all a bit overwhelming right now.
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