Just Some Bitching...

I need to vent now, and since my best friend no longer lives with me, I have no one to vent to.  It's about her anyway, so I guess that's a good thing.  I wanted to post some smart ass comment on FB, but she would know it was about her and would only make her feel bad, which would make me feel bad, and I hate that feeling.  I almost sent her a text, but I couldn't do that either.  I hate knowing I purposely hurt someone's feelings knowing it wouldn't make me feel any better anyway.  So I come here.

I don't know if I mentioned this here before, but a few months back she lied to me.  She asked if a friend of hers who was bicycling down the east coast could crash with us for a couple of nights.  Sure!  No problem.  So I met him that second day, he was a nice guy and all.  Then after he left she informed me that she'd never met him before.  She'd signed up for a couch surfing website and he found her through it.  She didn't think I'd say yes to him staying if she told me that, so she made the decision to purposely lie to me.  The situation turned out well and was in the past, so I said I was okay with it.  But I wasn't.  It ate away at me, and I confronted her about it a couple of months later after she purposely didn't tell me about something else.  She said she was sorry, but it still hurt.  She was trying to help someone out, which is nice, but she lied to me so that she could get her way.  

Anyways, someone wrote an article about him, and he mentioned how he stayed here.  How he met this man and woman and asked why they weren't a couple.  He later learned that they got married, and the man posted on his FB thanking him for the nudge.  So if she hadn't lied to me, he wouldn't have stayed here, given them the nudge, and now they wouldn't be married.  That's how the article read to me.  Not really, but it brought back all those hurt feelings, and now I'm mad.

I'm also mad because my parents stopped by today with all the paperwork for this brand spankin new computer I have.  It's basically all invoices showing exactly how much they paid for it and all the accessories and software they gave me.  It was waaaaayyyyy too expensive and makes me feel guilty for them spending so much.  Why the eff would they spend all that then give me the breakdown??  That money could have gone towards way more important things.  Plus I already had a computer that works fine!  It's old, slow, loud and the disc drive doesn't work anymore, but it was fine for what I used it for.  AAAAHHHH!  Plus the boyfriend was building me one for Christmas, which they didn't know, and I couldn't tell them after they gave it to me.

I want to talk to someone, but I don't know who.  I would talk to my roommate, but she's gone and it's about her.  I would talk to the boyfriend, but he's at work and it seems trivial when I actually think about it.  I would call my parents and fuss, but it would just make them feel bad.  Why can't I just get things off my chest to the people who are frustrating me and not worry about how it makes them feel??  That's stupid, but I wish I could sometimes.  I try to be a better person than that.  So I come here.

I want to yell and scream and cry, but it won't do anything but make me feel stupid.  I would go to the gym to try to work it out but can't because of my freakin back.  AAAH!  So I come here.

Oh, first world problems.  How stupid and trivial they really are.

End of the Year Post

Hello there!  Hope you all had joyful holidays.  Mine was pretty decent!  I made out like a bandit at Christmas and feel very spoiled... I'm typing from my new computer right now.  The boyfriend didn't propose, but he did ask my ring size the other night... eek!  I showed him a picture of what I want a couple of months ago, but he'd been drinking some, so I worked another picture into the series of texts kind of jokingly.  He ended them by saying that when the day comes he'll try his best.  You can't ask a girl her ring size then say "Well, when the day comes"!!  The romantic in me is hoping he's just trying to throw me off and will actually propose on New Year's Eve.  We'll see!

The roommate left yesterday.  Her husband surprised her Christmas night by calling her from the local airport.  He hadn't been due in until the 26th, but wanted to be a late evening gift.  They packed up a trailer full of her stuff Thursday night, which is when we said our goodbyes before bed.  Then she had to freakin show up at my work yesterday, coffee in hand like she's done so many times before.  I was so hoping she wouldn't do that, because of course I cried and once I start I can't stop, and everything made me cry the rest of the day.  Damn her.

I ended up having to leave early yesterday anyway because of my back.  I've had this nerve pain for a few months now that was horrible yesterday.  Not sure if it's the sciatic nerve or what, but it's most painful in my lower back and shoots down my leg.  It's normally a little painful almost every day, but it was the worst it's ever been yesterday.  I could barely walk or move.  The drive home was fun.

So, I have the house to myself now.  It's very quiet.  The pooch has actually been at the boyfriend's house since Wednesday.  I figured it would make all the packing and loading of the trailer easier for the roommate if he wasn't there barking his head off the whole time.  Then I didn't pick him up as scheduled last night because I hurt too much to drive.  It's lonely without my puppy, but the cat has enjoyed it.  I usually stay at the boyfriend's house every Saturday night, but he'll be staying here for the first time tonight!!  I can't wait.  (Finally get to have sex in my new house!!  hehe)  He'll bring my pup back and bring his too, so it'll be a full house once again for a little bit.  I can't wait for him to move in, but I will thoroughly enjoy having the place all to myself for a bit! :)

I'm a Grump

I've been in a bad mood most of this week.  Work has sucked.  One of our main girls has been out a couple of weeks now... she's in rehab somewhere for pills and will be at least until the end of the month.  Who knows if she'll even come back when she gets out?  I really hope she gets better, but this couldn't have come at a worse time of year.  This is our busiest time, and now we've only got three teenagers doing things in the back now.  Drama, drama.  My boss has been out sick, so I've been working long hours with no lunch breaks because there's no one else to cover.  Grouchy clients to boot.  Grrr...  So happy I'm off tomorrow.

On my day off earlier this week I was just in a bad mood from the get go.  Had what was supposed to be lunch with the boyfriend at 4:30 at a restaurant we both love that just opened up a month or so ago.  One of the worst services I've had anywhere, and the food really wasn't that great.  Maybe we'll give it another month or two.

No matter what I say to just about anyone lately... I'm wrong.  When I do something for someone... I did it wrong.   Even when I'm right, I know I'm right and I have proof to back me up... I'm still wrong.  I've just stopped talking to people because I'm tired of being wrong.

I had three packages magically disappear from my doorstep Wednesday.  I don't know if they were actually stolen or possibly delivered to the wrong house, but they're gone.  Three different Christmas presents.  Two are being replaced by the wonderful sellers they came from, but one I'm still not sure about.  I've never had a problem with packages being stolen before and I really hope that wasn't the case.  I feel pretty safe in this neighborhood... the drug dealer and his clients have never caused me any problems, and the questionable looking people who walk down the street off of my little nook have never really ventured into the nook.  Yes, all those people are here in my neighborhood, but I've never had cause to not feel safe.  Hopefully that's still the case.

Some good things...
- The roommate did get married and actually moves across the country to be with her husband a week from today.
- I'll have the house to myself.  No more fruit flies from her leaving food all over the place.
- I'm pretty excited for Christmas.  I actually made a few of the gifts and I'm most excited about them.
- I keep hoping the boyfriend will officially propose on Christmas... he probably won't, but a girl can dream, haha.
- In March I'll be attending the Million Woman March for Endometriosis in Washington, DC.  It's a worldwide event to raise awareness happening at the same time in dozens of country capitals.  I think it's going to be an amazing experience, and I absolutely cannot wait for it.

If I don't make it back here before Christmas, I hope it, or whatever you celebrate, is wonderful!