Testing the Waters

I went on a date last night.  My first first date in over three years, and I was pretty proud of myself.  I was nervous, but not overly so.  I came off as pretty confident (I think) and was surprisingly half decent at the conversation.  He seemed shy or nervous or something and didn't talk a whole lot at first, and I was pretty happy with myself as I kept the conversation going.  Something I'm rarely able to do.

He actually offered to pick me up, which surprised me.  We went to dinner then walked around for a bit.  We ended up on a bench by the water where we talked for a long time as we watched the lightning show from a storm offshore.  When we realized how late it had gotten, he drove me home.  We said our goodbyes from the truck with no mention of seeing each other again from either of us.

Which is fine.  He seemed really nice, but I don't think we have much in common at all.  And he's shorter than me.  I know that really doesn't matter, but I've always been weird about it.

And for some strange reason, I don't think I'm destined to be with a southern boy.  Dates with them have never led to another, and all the relationships I've been in have been with guys from the north or midwest.  Weird.

I've been thinking about my ex-husband more lately.  I think it's because I've been really missing that deep, close connection with someone.  That feeling of being all in and knowing they want you for who you are.  Which I haven't felt in the many years since him because I don't think I ever truly had it with the most recent ex.  But my husband was my first love, and I keep wondering if you ever get to have that feeling again with someone else.  Does it work like that?