Scary Shit

My dad almost died the other day.  Technically he's my stepdad, but he's been in my life as a father figure since I was eight or so.  He's been in bad health for many years with advanced COPD that has severely affected his life.  He's also got heart issues and an inoperable hernia in his chest, I believe.

I got a call from my mother Sunday afternoon that he'd just gotten home from the ER and had been diagnosed with pneumonia.  My heart fell immediately, knowing that something like that could do him in.  She assured me he was okay for the time being.  I checked in on them Monday, and he was starting to feel a little better from the antibiotics.

My phone rang Tuesday morning at 2:24 AM.  It was my mother saying he'd taken a turn for the worse and I should come over.  This could be the end.  When I got there he was in bed and could barely breathe.  I held his hand and told him I loved him.  My mom and I spent several hours like that with him while he attempted to rest.  Sometimes he could say a few words. We basically said our goodbyes.  I didn't want him to go, but if it was his time, I hoped it would happen quickly.  It was heartbreaking to see him in so much pain. 

I can't write any more detail without getting way too worked up.  Long story short, he didn't want to go to the hospital.  He wanted to die at home.  But the pain became too much and he agreed we should call an ambulance.  After several hours in the emergency room he finally got pain medication and was breathing a little easier.  We got hospice care set up and he now has people coming by several times a week.  Hopefully he gets over the pneumonia, but if he doesn't, at least he'll be at home and will be able to go without any pain.  We're just taking it day by day right now.