A Liar and A Cheater

He did cheat on me.  He finally admitted it, but only after I told him everything I already knew and asked him specifically.  Turns out it wasn't with someone recently or local.  It was actually about six months ago when he went back home to visit some friends.  He saw an ex at a party and slept with her.

I saw an email he'd written to a friend about a month ago in which he said, "I cheated on her and didn't even feel bad about it."  So since October he's not given a shit about me and he didn't say anything until March.  Oh, he still says he loves me and wants to hang out and be friends, but whatever.

He cheated on me two weeks after my endo surgery.  I'd asked him to go with me to Atlanta, but he said he couldn't get out of work.  Then two weeks later he takes a week off to drive north to visit friends.  I thought that was fucked up then and do even more so now.

I feel so stupid.  "They" say hindsight is 20/20, and looking back I can see so many warning signs.  If I'm honest I saw a lot of them back then in the moment too, but I ignored them.  Not cheating signs, but ones to the kind of person he really is.  I wanted him to be "the one" so badly that I told myself I could live with our differences in values and actions.  I wanted to start a family so badly that I brushed off the fact that I wasn't really sure he was the guy for me.  All that being said though, I really did love him.

When we first got together he said that he would never hurt me.  I know that's something everyone says when they're in a new relationship and newly infatuated, but I keep thinking about it lately.  He'd been cheated on pretty devastatingly in the past and swore that he would never cheat.  Even last month when I first asked him, he insisted that he was no cheater.  All I wanted from the beginning of this end of the relationship was honesty, and I'm almost happy to find out the truth.  I knew he wouldn't have used the word "cheated" if he hadn't been with someone before we broke up, and I'm glad I got the courage to come out and ask him.

He's finally moving out in two days, and I won't have to see him anymore.  I'm going out of town this weekend so I won't have to be around for it all.  I'll come back home Sunday, and hopefully all his stuff will be gone.  Time for yet another fresh start.