This might be the last couple of weeks for my stepdad. For real this time. Last week he said he was in a lot of pain, so the hospice doctor and nurse upped the dosage of his medication. His body just couldn't take it, and the shit kind of hit the fan. He was out of his mind. When he became a little more clear-headed he decided that he didn't want to be on pain or anxiety meds anymore. And he hasn't had any for almost a week.
My mom asked the nurse to come back out Monday to re-evaluate him since he was off all the meds. She listened to his lungs and other organs and said that his body is now shutting down. Apparently when it's towards the end a lot of hospice patients decide to stop their meds and still have hallucinations, like he is. That along with some other things his body is doing led her to believe that he may only have a few weeks left. She said at the end he may become less like himself and not realize who we are, then spend two or three days in a coma-like state, then pass away.
He's been pretty clear-headed the past couple of days, and it has been so wonderful to really get to talk to him again. I even got him to laugh a little today, which made me feel so good. He's sad and very weepy, but he says he's not in pain. He has been so miserable for so long, and I hope that he's able to go with some sort of peace.
singing of beautiful and impossible things,
of things that are lovely and that never happen,
of things that are not and that should be." -Oscar Wilde
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