Not even pregnant and I get an epidural...

How cruel is that?

I finally met with my surgeon yesterday and the disc has NOT ruptured again!!  He said the nerve root channel is narrower because of the amount of disc that has been removed and there's also scar tissue around the nerve.  So it's staying irritated.  The plan now is to get an epidural cortisone-type injection... eek.  But it's better than another surgery.  The other option is lumbar fusion which neither of us wants now!

The written interpretation of the MRI was put in my medical records online, and I found an interesting little tidbit.  "Numerous large calcified gallstones are present."  Isn't that just fantastic.  If I hadn't discovered that myself, no one would have told me.  My back surgeon didn't because he wasn't looking up there.  Is it his responsibility to tell me even though he's just concerned with my lower back?  Is he required to look over all the results, or just the portion he's tending to?  I really don't know.  No other doctor is going to see the results.  I've had no symptoms, so I guess I'll just keep an eye on that myself.

Moving on.  Surprisingly, for very brief moments the ex actually got me thinking about us getting back together.  All week I've had little thoughts creeping into my mind which got me remembering the good times we had.  Then common sense would kick in and remind me how emotionally unsupportive and distant he usually was.  I couldn't be happy with that forever.  Still though, it would be so easy to just fall back together, and I wondered about it.  But last night finally did it for me.  I dreamed we did just that and it wasn't good.  I regretted it immediately and wanted out, so I guess that's my answer.  Just needed my subconscious to back me up.

I've been practice talking to guys, if that makes sense.  I've never been good at conversation, especially on dates with men, so I thought I could take this time away from dating to work on my lack of skills.  There's a popular messaging app where you can pretty much make up your info and talk to people.  So I created one of those and started conversing with a few fellas.  They're all relatively local, but I didn't post a picture and haven't been quite honest answering some questions.  I fib on my line of work and particular details about my life just in case I were to ever meet them on the street.  Not that that's likely to happen, but you never know.  And you can't be too safe on the internet.  It's been fun so far, and maybe my next first date won't be so awkward.