I've been feeling very anxious lately about things I have no control over and I don't know why. They're not even guaranteed to happen and if they did it would be months away, so I don't know why I'm stressing. They're all work related, and I hate that I let it all get to me so much. I wish I could go home at the end of the day and forget about work. It's such a big part of life though that it's hard to. I have a problem with dwelling on things anyway, and that doesn't help. I continually have this nervous feeling in my stomach. Sometimes I'll wake up in the middle of the night and not be able to go back to sleep because it creeps into my mind and I can't let it go.
Maybe I'm PMS'ing. Maybe once I get my ass back to the gym on a regular basis my mood will improve in general and I won't worry so much. This is the first time I've stressed this much about work since returning over a year and a half ago. Maybe I just need a vacation.
I think I'm starting to stress over things on the home front too. I'll be moving again in less than six months and I don't know yet if I'll be able to buy a house or if that's even something I should be attempting right now. I'm just tired of renting.
I feel like my life is such a mess right now but I think it's just me driving myself crazy. Oh, how nice it would be to get out of my own head every so often.
singing of beautiful and impossible things,
of things that are lovely and that never happen,
of things that are not and that should be." -Oscar Wilde
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