Thursday, October 30, 2014

Quick Rant

I get so frustrated with some of my friends who have kids.  When I call or text asking about how they (the friends themselves) are doing, all I get back are either just pictures of the children or "Well, he's been doing this," or "She's been up to that."

I want to scream, "That is not what I asked you!!  I want to know how and what YOU yourself are doing.  Tell me YOUR thoughts, YOUR emotions!!"

I understand that their kids are an enormous part of their lives and make up a large part of what they do.  I don't at all mind hearing stories about the little ones, but I don't want to just talk about them.  And I don't want to be bombarded with pictures of them... one is enough.  

I can understand where they're coming from.  They're proud parents and want to brag about the newest things their babes have accomplished.  Although with one in particular I get the feeling her husband isn't too involved with the whole parenting process, so most of the responsibility falls to her... I wonder if at times she feels that's all she should or can talk about, which makes me sad. But that's a whole other post.

Anyways, they all know my story.  They know I sometimes have a hard time with things related to children.  I don't expect them to go out of their way or anything.  I just wish they could be a little more sensitive to the fact.  Or at least reach out to me every once in a while.  They are never the ones to try to keep the friendships going by reestablishing contact.  Grrr.

Okay, end rant.  I feel better now.

Saturday, October 25, 2014

Local Doc

This week I finally had my follow-up appointment with my local gyno, which went well.  I was there for about an hour and a half, and most of it was just waiting.  I was in the main waiting room which was filled with pregnant women for about half an hour.  I totally agree with everyone who says there should be separate waiting rooms for preggo and for non-knocked up patients.

When I was finally called back I handed over the records from the surgeon, and the nurse started typing them all into her computer.  When she first looked over them she said, "You had all of this done at one time?  It's amazing you're moving around so well."  And this is five weeks after surgery.  I sat next to her for about twenty more minutes as she typed everything in.  As she escorted me to the next waiting room she said, "Sorry that took so long... there were so many -ectomies to type in!"  Yes, yes there were.

A few minutes later I was taken to the exam room where I would wait for the doctor.  For at least another twenty minutes.  It.  Took.  Forever.  When she finally came in she herself looked over all the records and notes and said, "You had endo all over the place... we never see that."  All I could think was, "And that's why I went to Atlanta."

She was actually pretty interested in everything.  She asked questions about the surgery and was impressed with how they did it.  She was pretty excited to do my exam and really wanted to see the internal pachingo stitches.  The exam wasn't very pleasant for me, but she said everything looked great and gave me the okay to resume normal activities after this cycle ends.  (Which, by the way, did coincide with another flare up in my back, which totally leads me to believe that they're related.  Craziness.)

She went over my list of medications and asked if I was still on birth control, to which I said no.  She asked, "So if you were to get pregnant now, that would be okay?"  I happily replied with a yes.  It felt wonderful to say that now, no longer being in the dark and knowing that my chances are much better than they were before surgery.  We want to wait a little while, but if it happens, I'll be completely okay with it.

Asking for Good Thoughts for a Friend

I'm sad right now and scared.  Someone I've known a very long time is in medical danger.  She's a girl who lived down the street when I was growing up and someone I used to babysit.  We share the same birthday, but a few years apart, and always give each other a FB shout out on that day.  We've never really been close, but she was best friends with one of my "sisters" for a long time.  We've seen each other through the years at various social functions.  At the most recent encounter we shared a reception table after a wedding where we talked a little and got to know her husband.

She's been pregnant and wasn't due until January.  I learned this morning that she's had the baby, which weighs one pound, and she herself has had a massive stroke.  And that's all I know.

Her mom is asking for people who know her to send out good thoughts for her, and I guess this is one way for me to do that.  If you could spare a moment for one too, I would be very appreciative.

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

No more walking dead...

I feel much better now.  It was definitely the pain medication that was making me feel like crap, so I just stopped taking it this weekend.  No withdrawals like after the last surgery, so yay!  I feel so much better and not as much like a zombie anymore.  My appetite is back and I have a little more energy.  Emotionally I feel a lot better now also.  I still tear up occasionally, but not at all like I had been.

I was supposed to have a follow-up appointment with my local OBGYN today, but I still haven't received the operation packet yet.  Dee Dee from Dr. Sinervo's office called this morning to check in on me and answered some questions.  I love her.  I really wish I could use them as my regular OBGYN.

I went to PT for my back yesterday because it has been hurting again.  I couldn't do a whole lot, but she helped with some stretching.  She is very interested to see how things will go as I continue healing since my last flare-ups have been matched up with my cycle starting.  I'm interested to see that as well.  She is pretty amazing too.  She had everyone there sign a "get well soon" type card for me, which was not expected at all.  And she's gonna squeeze me in next week for an unofficial non-appoitment on one of the machines there just to keep me loose and flexible while I'm healing.

I stopped by my workplace on the way back from PT to pick up my paycheck and to say hello.  I'm very bummed that I've had to use all of my vacation and personal days on these surgeries, but I feel lucky to even be able to.  It's also nice that there are three paydays this month.  :)  Everyone was happy to see me and said they were looking forward to my return, which looks like will begin with some half days starting a week from today.  My energy level is better than before, but I still lose steam very, very quickly.  I just don't see full days happening just yet.  And again, I feel lucky that my workplace is flexible in that respect and will allow me to return when I feel ready.

I made a voice recording on my phone at the post-op appointment back in Atlanta which I listened to today.  I really was pretty out of it for that.  It was good to be able to go back to hear again and remember some things that were said.

Also while listening, I realized that my voice really sounds like my mother's sometimes, which is not a bad thing at all.  She is so kind and friendly towards everyone she meets.  She was amazing during our trip, and I grew to appreciate her so much more, not that I didn't already.  She has always been there for me no matter what, and I hope that I can be half the incredible mother she has been for me.

She received an email from my aunt the other day saying that my cousin wanted Dr. Sinervo's information.  She finally confirmed that my cousin has endo and has been suffering for years.  This is the cousin that was never able to conceive.  I hope that she's able to see him and find some relief.  I love that through this albeit hard endo journey, I've learned so much and can hopefully help other people with information or even from just referring them to Dr. Sinervo.

I guess that's enough for now.  Everyone have a good rest of your day.