Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Bridal Expo

My stepdad's doing about the same, I think.  Maybe a little bit of progress, and I'll take whatever good news I can get.  I go to visit him almost every day after work and on days off I'll spend the afternoon.  It's still day to day and we don't know what's going to happen, but we're remaining hopeful.

This past Sunday was a local bridal expo that my mom was supposed to attend with me, but for obvious reasons she couldn't.  So my "sister" went, and we had a blast.  The morning consisted of a venue tour of some local spots, and I think I've found the perfect one for us.  It's in historic downtown and is the entire top floor of a very old building.  It's currently a ballroom where they host dancing classes and rent out for events.  Is it not effing gorgeous??

Eek!  I think the ceremony would take place on this side.

Other side of the room and how
the reception area could be.


Entryway from the elevator

They had it somewhat staged so you could get an idea of how it would be set up.  The price is great and they're partnered with the caterer I like, so there would be a discount on that fee.  Plus, my sister is best friends with the caterer's family and actually used to work for them and said she could probably get me the "family" rate... sweet!!  It's all starting to fall into place.

Anyways, after the tour was the actual expo where tons of vendors were set up.  I talked to so many people and got a lot of ideas.  There were two fashion shows, and the dresses were gorgeous.  I don't think I'll go all out on a gown this time down the aisle, but I definitely have a good idea of how to get a gorgeous dress for a great price.

I went home that evening all excited and shared what I learned with the boyfriend.  He was happy with the venue I like and said he'd definitely have to officially propose soon!  Shhh.... don't tell him, but I wore my grandmother's rock all day at the expo.  I really miss having a diamond on my hand.

He originally didn't think any of his friends or family would come down for the wedding, and he actually called his sister to ask if she would.  She got all excited, said all six of them would be here for it and demanded to know when it would be.  That was the first anyone in his family heard anything about us getting married, and I'm fairly certain she'll pass the word around.  I hoping the extra influence from outside sources will light a fire under his butt, haha!

Yesterday my stepdad asked if he could walk me down the aisle.  It absolutely warmed my heart.  I hope above all else that he is still around and able to do that when the time comes.

Thursday, January 15, 2015

Scary Shit

My dad almost died the other day.  Technically he's my stepdad, but he's been in my life as a father figure since I was eight or so.  He's been in bad health for many years with advanced COPD that has severely affected his life.  He's also got heart issues and an inoperable hernia in his chest, I believe.

I got a call from my mother Sunday afternoon that he'd just gotten home from the ER and had been diagnosed with pneumonia.  My heart fell immediately, knowing that something like that could do him in.  She assured me he was okay for the time being.  I checked in on them Monday, and he was starting to feel a little better from the antibiotics.

My phone rang Tuesday morning at 2:24 AM.  It was my mother saying he'd taken a turn for the worse and I should come over.  This could be the end.  When I got there he was in bed and could barely breathe.  I held his hand and told him I loved him.  My mom and I spent several hours like that with him while he attempted to rest.  Sometimes he could say a few words. We basically said our goodbyes.  I didn't want him to go, but if it was his time, I hoped it would happen quickly.  It was heartbreaking to see him in so much pain. 

I can't write any more detail without getting way too worked up.  Long story short, he didn't want to go to the hospital.  He wanted to die at home.  But the pain became too much and he agreed we should call an ambulance.  After several hours in the emergency room he finally got pain medication and was breathing a little easier.  We got hospice care set up and he now has people coming by several times a week.  Hopefully he gets over the pneumonia, but if he doesn't, at least he'll be at home and will be able to go without any pain.  We're just taking it day by day right now.

Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Gathering moss over here...

Hello all.  Happy New Year.  A little late, but that's how I roll here lately.  Once again I feel like life has been stalled.  So many things I want to do, but I have to wait.  I want to get married, but I have to wait.  I want to try to get pregnant, but I have to wait.  I want to go to the gym and physically feel better, but I have to wait.

Second back surgery is scheduled for next month... the day before my birthday to be exact.  Hopefully I'll be getting out of the hospital the day I ring in my 32nd year.  So I'm waiting another month for that.  Then after I'll wait many months more... to heal, to be able to effectively exercise, to start that two pink lines trek again.

And I'm still waiting for an official proposal.  Part of me is thinking that if he really wanted to propose he would have by now.  I mean, seriously.  We started talking about this over a year ago.  I had my ring setting (we've already got the main stone) picked out seven months ago, and it's not expensive.  Then the logical part of me kicks in pointing out yet again how tight money really has been.  But how long has a girl got to wait?!

I've been in yet another funk for a while lately, and I'm tired of waiting for it to end.  I think all of the above plus a little more and just worrying about it has dragged me down here.  I considered taking anti-depressants again, but I keep telling myself I can get out of this without pharmaceutical help.

I've thought maybe getting creative somehow and physically making something could help and I've been antsy trying to decide on something.  Whenever (if ever) we do get married, a lot of the wedding and reception will have to be DIY, and I'd really like to start on it.  But I have to wait for the proposal and setting a date to decide on themes and colors and what exactly I want to make.  I asked him a little while ago if he'd thought of when he would like to have the wedding.  In true male fashion he said, "I'm thinking May."  So, four months?  Sure, that's totally doable.  *sigh*  I'll be lucky to even have the first ring on my finger by then.

I'm just bitching and moaning again.  I feel like that's all I do.  But again, this is where I come to do it, and the loving internet gets to enjoy it.  Joking aside, it is nice to have this place to vent knowing no one I know is actually reading.