"Come Back"

I think I'm making more progress with getting over the ex.  Maybe.  I don't think about him as much, and when I do I don't dwell on it.  I don't think of the bad stuff as much.  Certain songs don't get to me as much as they used to.  Several people have mentioned how much better I seem to be doing.

I did crack a little last night though.  I spent a rather underwhelming dinner and a movie evening with the boy.  No touching or affection of any kind, and I took my cue and left when he announced it was his bed time right after the movie.  As I was driving away I kept wishing he would have asked me to stay the night.  It reminded me of when I left MS after packing all my stuff up.  As I drove farther and farther down the road all I wanted in the whole world was to get a text with the words "Come back".  I held out hope for a good hour as I drove east, but it never came.

I heard a saying recently... "You can't start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one."  I'm so, so ready to turn that page.  Almost there.

I don't think I'm going to be the one to try to make plans with the boy for awhile.  I want to see if he still actually likes hanging out with me enough to call or if he's just not cutting the strings because he wants to keep having sex.  Or if he even calls at all.  Wow, I sound pathetic.  At times I feel it too, but usually not.  I know I'm not ready for an actual relationship yet.  But I like being physical with someone when I can, and I'd rather have an on/off thing with the boy than nothing at all.  I look forward to the day I'm ready for and find the whole package.