I really want a cigarette right now. I feel like I'm losing it. I'm feeling angry and sad and let down and all that junk. I don't have a person anymore. I've made more friends than I think I've ever had, but they're all coupled off and I'm the spare wheel again. Even the single ones have their own other single persons, and I just can't get in there. I'm so flustered and I don't know who to talk to. Everyone's out doing their own thing and isn't calling back. I just don't know where to go from here.
Most of the time I'm pretty copacetic with my life. I realize everything happens for a reason, and I try to enjoy the ride and not focus too much on the destination. But I'm not really that kind of person. I want a family and I'm tired of waiting. I really just want to be happy again. I guess tonight it just hit me once more. Sometimes it feels like it's never going to happen.
singing of beautiful and impossible things,
of things that are lovely and that never happen,
of things that are not and that should be." -Oscar Wilde
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