Rejection

Great.

The only prescription medication I’m on is freakin birth control to keep the endo from getting worse, and it costs a whopping forty bucks a month. Oh my, what a high cost for them. Not that they would even be paying for it because it wouldn’t come anywhere close to the deductible. Geez. I certainly don’t know much about insurance company policies, but come on. I guess I can't really say anything about the endo, not that I could if I wanted to. It's a shame though.

So no luck on that front, but maybe on another. I’ve been wanting to see a psychiatrist for awhile now. Everything just seems to be building up again, and I’m breaking down on a regular basis. It feels hard to get through each day. Remembering the $300+ per session quote from a doctor I called several years ago, I figured I’d just have to talk to a counselor. But I really think that I need some sort of pharmaceutical help too. I’ve been trying to deal with all my crap since high school, with some stuff from way earlier than that playing a part, and I haven’t really been getting anywhere in all these years.

Yesterday I saw a commercial for a place in Memphis that does clinical trials for new medicines. This particular commercial was for depression, and it really felt like a sign. They pay for everything and even reimburse you for travel, which would be nice since I’m an hour and a half away. So I looked them up, and they do trials for all sorts of conditions including social anxiety, which has been my main problem since I was really young. I filled out a form and I have an appointment for an initial evaluation tomorrow. That seemed too easy. I hope it’s legit and that it works out. This would be so awesome if it does. I’m not sure if therapy-type sessions would be included, but if they’re not and I still wanted to talk, I could go to a counselor here that’s about $60 per session. Much more doable.

I’m definitely nervous about potentially taking a medicine that’s not fully approved yet. I was in a trial for Yaz a few years ago to see if it could be used and marketed like Seasonale (four periods a year), and it went really well. Yaz was already FDA approved though, so I felt it would be pretty safe. Apparently it caused a ton of problems based on the commercials I’ve seen lately, but I was always fine on it. It was nice to get a year’s worth of free birth control and regular exams then, and it would be nice to be able to do something similar now too. This one would come with a whole mental and physical exam, the latter I haven’t had since before I was old enough to remember having one.

Wish me luck please.