No Relief

I used to take for granted how easy it was to put on socks.  Now it's one of the hardest parts of my morning.  I never gave a second thought to picking up the dogs' food bowls to feed them dinner.  Now I have up scoot them across the floor to the food container with my foot.  I make multiple trips to the sink with a cup to fill up their water bowl.

I am fucking miserable.  All the time.  Never have I been in this much pain for so long.  It hurts to sit, stand, bend over, lie down, do nothing.  The sharp, shooting, searing pain is torture every time I try to move.  My leg aches all the time and some of the muscles have begun to twitch.  I have a limp all the time when I attempt to walk.  My toes on the bum leg are tingly and half numb some of the time now, and I keep rolling my ankle as I hobble along.  It's gonna be twisted or sprained before long.

I've been to the chiropractor three times this week.  She said it should take three to six adjustments total before I'm better. The three so far have just been adjustments to try to get all the swelling down before she can do the actual adjustment to make me better.  She keeps saying that after that one I'll want to kill her, but the next day I'll feel so much better.  We'll see.

After each adjustment I think I feel just the tiniest bit better, but I'm starting to wonder if that's wishful thinking.  I just hurt so badly, and there really doesn't seem to be any overall improvement.  Although she did say my back adjusted a little easier yesterday, so I guess that's progress.  She also said she'll be the first to tell me if what she's doing just isn't working and if she thinks I need to get help elsewhere.

*sigh*  I'm so tired of hurting and being on the verge of tears all the time.  I don't know how people with chronic pain every single day of their lives deal with it.  My spirit is slowly breaking down.  I usually try to stay positive, but it's becoming very difficult.  I'm still taking the anti-depressant, and that's probably what's kept me from breaking down so far.