Thursday, March 31, 2011

My New Digs

Sleeping alone really sucks.  Especially on an air mattress.  I've got a memory foam topper thing to help make it a little more comfortable though.  So here's my room in my parents' house.



It's cozy.  Except I can't get the little heater to work right, so I'm either freezing or sweating my ass off all night.  We're about to have a little talk about how tonight's gonna go down.  My mom collects all things Santa Claus, and this room houses quite a few of them.  I like them though.


The cat settled in just fine and seems to like the room too.


My parents have both been so fantastic to me and are really helping a lot.  I'm still kind of a wreck, but I got some antidepressants from wonderful lady doctor last week and I think they're starting to kick in. 

All I think about is the husband.  All I dream about is him.  I miss him so much.  It was so hard not to touch him, kiss him, cuddle close to him at night when I was briefly back in MS.  At one point he was sitting at the computer and all I wanted to do was lean over from behind, wrap my arms around him and kiss his neck.  But I couldn't.  Our last kiss was when he left for work the morning I left for NC the first time.  Will I ever get to kiss him again?

I see all sorts of places here that meant something to us... the gas station parking lot I pulled into so I didn't crash while we had one of our first long phone conversations, the condos still in construction that we snuck into at night to look out at the water and almost kissed on the top floor, the picnic table in the park we were sitting at when he first kissed me, the coffee shop we used to go to and usually shared a grande, the ice cream shop he took me to for my birthday then bought me a "Life is Good" sticker at a little shop down the block, the old mansion we wanted to get married in at Christmastime... so many places with so many wonderful memories.  I wish he was here to see them all with me.  But more than that I wish I was there with him to share our lives together again.

3 comments:

  1. Oh lady! I can't even imagine! I have no words of comfort, but I am sending all kinds of love out into the universe for you right now. Hoping that something soon brings the two of you back together.

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  2. Thinking of you and hoping that as S.I.F said, something soon brings the two of you together again. Keep hope and remember you are strong enough.

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  3. Thank you ladies. I really appreciate your words.

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