All I could think about today were things I did wrong in our marriage. Times when I was insensitive and when he put up with all my "crazy" with no complaint. Did it just wear him down? I wasn't the only one at fault in all this, but sometimes it really feels like it. I know I wasn't perfect, but I gave him all the love I had and still love him more than anything. We had a lot of good times too. I'm trying to focus on those now.
Tonight my left arm and hand started to get all tingly like I'd hit my funny bone or something, but I hadn't. After a couple of hours of that my left leg and foot started to feel tingly too. Could it be from the Prozac, stress or just my messed up back? I was going to have a much needed glass of wine tonight, but decided against it just in case. And I didn't smoke one cigarette today... or yesterday come to think of it. Go me. Yeah, I started again, but it's only been a few. Shouldn't be too hard to quit again when I'm ready.
You can't blame yourself like that. I know it's easy for me to say that, but... seriously lady, go easy on yourself right now.
ReplyDeleteHoly shit girl, I totally missed your last few posts as I've been super random on when I can get online. I'm so sorry to read that you're going through this and hope that a few months can give you both some healing time and you can come back together afterwards. Much love to you right now and SIF's right, go easy on yourself.
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