Beautiful and Impossible Things: Day One in Washington

This is the tale of the inevitable embarrassment of a Southern girl all alone in the big city.

We start with parking. The drive there was effortless, but once I actually got within a couple of blocks of my hotel, it got bad. It was later afternoon, and there was a lot of traffic. My hotel had a little area of free parking for guests to unload and check in that I had been planning on taking advantage of, seeing as the parking garage for the hotel was four blocks away. I ended up circling the damn block at least four times, each time taking at least five minutes as I battled horrendous traffic and pedestrians. The freakin thing was fully parked or double parked every time! Couldn't find any decent street parking either, and the last lap around I started cursing and pulled into the parking garage right next to the hotel. Which had a valet. Which I'd never had the pleasure of experiencing before... I'm usually a self-serve parker and proud of it. He asked how long I would be there and asked, "You know this isn't the garage for your hotel, right?" Yes, yes I'm aware of that, but I don't care anymore.

So I hiked up to the street with my heavy ass suitcase and encountered some guy in a suit who was pacing back and forth in front of the entrance to the garage. Seeing my suitcase he asked if I was staying at the hotel next door. Yes, yes I am. "You know this isn't the garage for your hotel, don't you?" Yes, yes I do. "Go get your car and I'll watch it for you" as he pointed to a spot on the road. I looked at him kind of dumbfounded. "Leave your suitcase here and tell him you want your car back," he pretty much ordered me. I said with obvious skepticism in my voice, "So you're gonna watch my suitcase and my car while I check in?" not sure whether to trust him or not. "Yes, yes! Go get your car!" We literally said the same things to each other and talked in that whole circle again before I eventually and reluctantly left my suitcase with him and attempted to do as he instructed. I could see him the whole time, so I felt a tiny bit safer about it, but not much.

"No, it's been three minutes, you'll have to pay," the valet guy said, then continued, "You want me to get it?" No, that's quite alright. Back up the hill I went to the other guy who said, "I told you! I was just trying to save you some money! That's a few gallons of gas!" Yeah, I know buddy. Thanks for watching my bag. So, I went to check into the hotel, and seeing from my reservation that I needed to pay for their garage, the guy inquired as to where I was parked. I sighed and told him, to which he responded, "You know that parking garage isn't ours, right?" Yes, yes I do. I finally got my room key and carried my bag up to the eighth floor, tossed it on the bed and headed back down to move my car to the actual hotel parking garage.

Finally got that ordeal over with and walked around downtown DC for a while. I noticed I looked a little out of place. It was 60 degrees when I left NC, so I was in my flip flops and jeans with an informal top and jacket. I thought it felt about the same there, but everyone else was all bundled up. They were also in very professional attire with fancy suits and boots. I got some weird looks.

When I was over the city, I mapped out the restaurant I wanted to try and headed towards it. I was determined to get sushi! Until I didn't. They were closed. I was hungry and didn't feel like waiting. So I walked back to the hotel which had three restaurants and had my first experience dining alone. It was strange. I was surrounded by what looked like more professionals who had just gotten out of work and were gathered for happy hour. Eh, whatever.

I ate kind of quickly and noticed my waiter outside on a smoke break. No biggie. When I actually finished, he appeared out of nowhere from behind me and took my plate. I assumed he'd be right back with the check, but no. He chatted it up with another waitress for a good few minutes, looking over at me several times. I thought I'd caught his eye a few times, but he made no acknowledgement of it. I stared him down, and he finally came over. "You want another drink?" No, no thanks. I was finally able to pay and headed into the hotel.

I walked into the lobby and down the hall to the elevator, passing a school group of high school boys along the way. As I passed the last two, I noticed one of them following me with his eyes. I was all, yeah I still got it, walking a little taller and feeling a little bit better about myself. Then his friend said, "Dude, she's like 40."

Awesome.

And so I sulked back to my room and actually got a chance to look at it. I pulled back the curtains to a magnificent view...

Yeah.... Not quite what I was expecting. The hotel is 100 years old and had some other interesting quirks. This was the vent for the air...

Had never seen that before. The heat source in the bedroom was an old radiator. In the bathroom it was just a massive pipe that ran floor to ceiling and actually put out an impressive amount of heat.

I opened the bottle of wine I brought and finished out my night with a couple of very satisfying glasses. In a plastic hotel cup. Classy. Possibly under the influence of the wine, I did something I never do and took a mirror selfie...