Friday, March 7, 2014

Lingering Dreams

I had a strange dream last night, and it's memory has lingered throughout the day.  I don't remember how it started or where I was exactly, but I got a phone call... on a land line on a phone with one of those old school curly cords.  It was my aunt.  The one I haven't really spoken to in over ten years.  She was saying something about her and my uncle coming to visit and that they were already at the door with two little ones.  I looked at the front door which had a window over the top of it.  I saw my for some reason outrageously tall uncle's head out the window.  I opened the door and there they were, each with an infant twin in their arms.  I was feeling confusion and panic as they came in.  We walked into a living room and one of them handed me one of the babies.  The child immediately started crying inconsolably, and I said something about it not being able to see it's sibling.  I turned so he/she could see the other one, and it immediately quieted down.  Then I woke up.

So strange.  It almost felt like they were bringing me the kids to keep.  That was why the confusion and panic.  I had no clue who the children were or where they came from yet, but immediately deep down I was totally okay with it.  I wanted them. 

The dream was so brief, but the feelings it brought up were deep, and it's been replaying in my mind all day.  I probably had it because I was thinking of my aunt and cousin yesterday.  My family doesn't really talk.  There was a falling out when my grandmother passed about eleven years ago.  I had nothing to do with any of the events that transpired, but my mom and aunt didn't talk for many years.  They've started again recently, which is nice.

Anyways, this is the aunt that I believe has endo.  I don't know if she was ever officially diagnosed with anything, but she had horrible periods and eventually had a hysterectomy.  This I knew while growing up and is why I never went to a doctor, thinking it just ran in the family.  I found out about four years ago that her daughter, my cousin, was never able to conceive and actually adopted a little girl two years before that!  I never heard if she was diagnosed with anything either.

Such a strange feeling to be carrying this dream around all day.

3 comments:

  1. Often times if I've had a dream where I have a baby, I wake up still feeling the warmth of the child in my arms. I find dreams like that to be heartbreaking because it's like a memory that has never happened, and I don't know if it ever will. Me and my husband have both wrote a poem on it. Dreams can really mess with your emotions sometimes...

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    Replies
    1. "Like a memory that has never happened"... that's it exactly, and they can really affect you.

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    2. *sigh* They sure can. Here's a link to the poem I wrote about one of those dreams, and my hubby's poem about the same thing:

      http://desiretomother.blogspot.com/2012/10/maternal-hunger.html

      http://desiretomother.blogspot.com/2012/10/jareds-poem.html

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