I am so heartbroken right now. The husband and I sat down yesterday and had a long conversation about continuing trying to conceive. Together we decided that we should take a break until our financial situation improves. I have a feeling that this break will be for the better part of a year at least... probably until after we move next summer. This kills me. I haven't been able to stop the spontaneous bursting of tears. Between the bursts I managed to call wonderful doctor lady, and she's putting me back on birth control to keep the endo at bay. I hate being on birth control... it makes me emotionally insane and neither I nor the husband are looking forward to the bipolar-ness it creates in me.
This is hitting me a lot harder than I thought it would. I just can't stop crying. I decided to make a last-minute trip home to North Carolina to see my parents. I think the many hours on the road will help to clear my head. Luckily I love to drive. I'm going to drive ten hours tomorrow to Charlotte to stay with some friends overnight, then get up early the next day and drive the final five hours. Visit for a couple of days then turn around and do the same thing in reverse on the way back to Mississippi. I think it'll be good for me, but I'll miss the husband. He's very supportive of this trip and thinks it'll do me good also. He's the best and I'm very lucky to have him.
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