Can't Buy Me Love

(Good movie, btw)

I'm selling my wedding dress.  My dream wedding dress.  And my engagement ring.  My grandmother's ring.  Both are very beautiful and mean a lot to me, but I need to let them go.  Emotionally I haven't been ready until now.  The decision about the dress wasn't quite as difficult as the one with the ring.  The dress is totally replaceable.  I look forward to finding a new dream dress for the next time.

The ring is different though.  It was an anniversary gift from my grandfather to grandmother years ago, and she left it to me when she passed.  They were both jewelers and she had many beautiful pieces.  This ring is an enormous rock and as much as I love it, I've always felt awkward wearing it.  Even if I put the stone into another setting, I would probably never wear it again and it would just sit in the bank.  Grandma wouldn't want that.

If I sell it, I could pay off all of my debts and actually be able to start saving for the future.  I could pay back my mom.  I could start a retirement account.  I could actually have more than twenty dollars left from each paycheck to pay for food and gas for the following two weeks.  I could eat more than pasta and yogurt.  I could start saving for a laparoscopy if I end up needing one down the line.

I want a family now more than ever.  I see all my friends with their beautiful children and I get heartsick.  Not so much for what I lost anymore, but that yearning still for what I've always wanted.  I thought it would have happened by now, and not to say that I'm old, but I am getting older and now is the best time to do it.  So I'm using that as a motivator.