Last night was relatively tame compared to my past two Saturdays. I didn't kiss anyone, I didn't get groped or feel anyone else up. Yet, I kinda wish something had happened. Is it wrong to want physical interaction with someone of the opposite sex without a commitment? I keep going back and forth with myself on this topic. Ideally, I would like the commitment, but I'm not sure I can do that right now. Emotionally I just don't think I could really open up to someone else just yet.
I waited 24 years to be physically intimate with someone and I feel I've barely tapped into what all it could be. As ridiculous as it sounds, I want to have my own sexual revolution. I want to be able to let go, relax and let myself feel okay with it. So, is it okay to pursue something like that? Is that something I could let myself do?
I've never really had that mindset. I've always believed in the "traditional" route. But that didn't work. Times changed a long time ago, but I'm still mainly of the old thinking. Can I try something different and still be true to who I am? Would I turn into someone who I don't respect, and at what point would that be?
Better late than never... And as far as I'm concerned, maybe even better late than as a teenager who has no idea what she's doing. I say embrace it lady! Enjoy this next stage for whatever it's worth!
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