I think I need to un-friend all of his family. It really upsets me how upset I got at the fact that an in-law I will probably never see again in my life removed me from his online social media "friends". I also get upset every time I check out the husband's page and see something new about him and his girlfriend or just his life in general. I purposely only let myself look at it once every few weeks or so, but the fact that I purposely avoid it knowing I'll probably get upset upsets me. The fact that I still see him and his family popping up on the left-hand side of the screen like we're all hunky-dory makes it hurt more.
I don't think I can keep doing it. I think I need to get rid of all reminders, no matter how small, so I'm not dwelling all the freakin time. Like my signature, it's another daily reminder that he and I are no longer and will never be again. That he's perfectly content with another woman. That I'm terrified once again that I'm going to die alone.
singing of beautiful and impossible things,
of things that are lovely and that never happen,
of things that are not and that should be." -Oscar Wilde
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