Wednesday, April 6, 2011

I lied...

...I do still care.  There's nothing I can do though, so why fight it?  In a few months we should be divorced, and I can try to move on and start again.  This is killing me now, but I will be happy again one day.

I have an appointment with a therapist in a couple of weeks.  I've never talked to one before, but I'm really looking forward to it.  My antidepressants just got upped yesterday, and hopefully the higher dose will kick in soon and help a little more.

But for now, every day I feel like I'm about to jump out of my skin.  I keep going back and forth between knowing I'll be okay and not knowing how I'll ever go on without him.   I wanted to have a family and grow old with this man, and now I have to start all over again.  How will I ever find a man who I trust as much as I did him?  How am I supposed to let someone else get to know me inside and out as well as he did?  How am I supposed to trust at all again?  He promised me forever and then he changed his mind.  How do you go on after that?

1 comment:

  1. Nothing I can say is going to make you feel better right now. So just for the record - this sucks. And I'm sorry.

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